When Ana met Arthur it was a coup de foudre, a bolt of lightening, between them – a new spiritual entity, a bond that the two formed immediately and that carried them through a successful seven-year relationship.
These things happen all the time, of course, but the case of Ana and Arthur was different. For one, Ana, a cardiologist, was 35 years older than Arthur when they got married.
And second, the romance and its demise was chronicled by a documentary film crew.
"Do you think it’s in the air?" asked Larry Young, the director of the film. "May-December marriages are not that uncommon. We see a lot of relationships between younger men and older women, especially among celebrities, like Demi Moore and Madonna.
A generation ago the book, and film, In Praise of Older Women studied the phenomenon. Young’s film Ana and Arthur, shown at the recently concluded 2009 Canadian International Hot Docs festival in Toronto, revived the discussion. But the breakup is the most fascinating and intense part of the movie and the director remains profoundly affected by it.
"I had known Ana for quite a while before she met Arthur,” director Young said in an interview. “She had a dream, an innovative therapy centre on her farm. She had already started when Arthur came along."
Ana’s retreat is in the Hudson River valley in New York state. When they met at a medical conference in Pennsylvania, Arthur was a 28-year-old fourth-year medical student on the verge of switching to farming while Ana was adopting alternative approaches to treating chronically ill patients. During the romance the partners transformed a toxic farm into an earthly paradise named Pleroma Farm. Ana practised holistic, environmental healing while Arthur applied biodynamic gardening practices.
The relationship ended in 2007, when Ana was 68 and Arthur was 33. Arthur had fallen in love with Melanie, a gardener.
Counting Melanie, filmmaker Young is the fourth person involved in the story. The 65-year-old transplanted Detroiter is a painter, sculptor and storyteller who lives in Toronto with his wife Kathie Chun.
What led Young to do the documentary? As a patient at Ana’s alternative-healing retreat, the tall, bearded and distinguished Young was present during the good times and then the painful breakup and recorded it with sensitivity. He only got into the filmmaking business in 2004 when he purchased his first video camera. Initially he didn’t want to release the film "because I was afraid to meet with criticism."
He says he’s still in shock about the breakup, although it happened two years ago. Young’s compassionate camera observes all the loss, grief, tension and anxieties of the dissolution. Young found it painful to record the dying marriage, with two people trying to be civil to each other and failing, with the end resulting in anger, recriminations and finally guilt involving all three participants.
Young says in the process of exploring this intimate relationship, "I learned a lot about myself."
Alas, love affairs involving older woman and much younger man are rare but unfortunately, the sad demise of the marriage of Ana and Arthur will be a story that is all too familiar to many.
Seniors groups looking for a group viewing of the film may contact the director at larryyoung63@gmail.com.
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photos:
1: The relationship between Ana and Arthur started sublimely but ended in anger. (Courtesy Hot Docs).
3: Director Larry Young, pictured at the Hot Docs festival in Toronto in May, was profoundly affected by the demise of the marriage of his friend Ana. (Bob Sandbo photo)